30 days without you

Hi Leo,

¿how is everything up there?

Everything is all right here. I am healthy, still go to the gym and have ended the clases. ¡I do not have to wake up at 5:00 a.m. to go to the University at 6:00! That won’t happen ever again. ¡I am almost a professional now!

I miss you a lot but ¿you know what? Im quite better now.

I haven’t had no more breakfasts on thursdays in “El Rancherito” since you left us… I wonder if you miss that chocolate… Sometimes I’d love to take muy cellphone and call you by Viber (your name is still the second one in the list of “messages”)…

I’ve read our conversations many times and you couldn’t imagine how happy I’d be if I could receive a single word, ore ven your beautiful smile again.

¿Have you seen the messages that I’ve written in your inbox? Sure you haveI just want to feel you closer, that’s why I’ve been looking for your photos and listening your voice in the audios I’ve got from you….

I’ve heard that there (in heaven) nobody feels pain, hungry, sadness or cold. ¿Is that true? If it is, I am sincerely glad for you… actually I think I feel “envy” for you. This world is really mad and it seems it’s not fair at all… even though when I know everything happens for a reason.

I’m glad for you because you don’t have to worry about inocents’s blood or the ignorance of those who think only on themselves…. I realize you were freed from the horror of the humanity, just because you deserved a better place

Few days ago I said to someone: “I have never broken any part of my body” and he told me: “your heart”…  and I answered him: “My heart has been hurt, but never broken”… Now I know that I lied. ¡Your absence broke my heart into a thousand pieces!

¡You should be able to visit us at least for one minute!… just to say “hi” and hug us… ¿Why it is not allowed to leave heaven for a while?, ¿Is it so far away? You must be so happy in there anyway….

¿Do the souls have dreams like humans? I’d like you to be in my dreams… not every day of course, but once in a while… We’d laughed togheter while eating icecream, ¿don’t you want it again too?

It’s been a month since you’ve passed away and I can’t believe I won’t see you any more, I won’t call you any more, I won’t hug you and neither will I feel you close to me anymore…

Promise me it’d be the same if I saw you in heaven, even if Im full of wrinkles when that moment arrives… Promise me you will hug me stronger than ever, even if you’re not wearing your super black jacket…

I’d really like to visit you in heaven. I don’t care if I have to walk hours and hours and hours without stopping… but the truth is that I dont belong to heaven, no yet.

¿Would you help me to be as good an human being as you were?, ¿would you make me feel like whether you were next to me if I need you? ¡I promise you Ill be a strong as Ive been until now! And then, I won’t bother you anymore (or at least not many times…).

I promise you Ill carry on, persue my dreams, listen to my heart and do and say what I deeply feel; and when my strenght is failing… just kick my ass (if you want to) and push me further up…

I cannot see you or touch you, but since you passed away one month ago, I‘ve got you at the bottom of my heart and I leve from the bottom of my mind

¡¡I’m proud of you , I love you and I always will Leo!!

Thank you for being part of my life for all this years

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